Thursday, 11 October 2012

A Child's View (and spelling!) of Notable Historic Biblical Events - Funny!

This is an extract taken from a newsletter courtesy of St Stephen's Church, Bournemouth, England entitled "Out of the mouths of…"

Pay special attention to the wording and spelling. If you are even remotely familiar with Holy Scripture you’ll find this hilarious. It comes from an elementary school test in which kids were asked questions about the Old and New Testaments. These were some of their answers. They have not been retouched or corrected. Incorrect spelling has been left in.

  • In the first book of the Bible, Guinessis, God got tired of creating the world so he took the Sabbath off
  • Adam and Eve were created form an apple tree. Noah’s wife was Joan of Ark. Noah built and ark and the animals came in pears
  • Lot’s wife was a pillar of salt during the day but a ball of fire during the night
  • The Jews were a proud people and throughout history they had trouble with unsympathetic genitals
  • Sampson was a strong man who let himself be led astray by a Jezebel like Delilah
  • Samson slayed the Philistines with the axe of the apostles
  • Moses led the Jews to the Red Sea where they made unleavened bread which is bread without any ingredients
  • The Egyptians were all drowned in the dessert. Afterwards, Moses went up to Mount Cyanide to get the ten Commandments
  • The first Commandment was when Eve told Adam to eat the apple
  • The seventh Commandment is that thou shalt not admit adultery
Fantastic stuff indeed!


  1. hilarious! kids, they get all things mixed up when they tell stories..

    1. They certainly do - and for the entertainment (quietly) of us adults on occasion! There was another part to this which I'm hoping to procure. Glad you liked it!